W-H-I-T-E was I thinking...

...when I bought these shoes?

That was over 6 months ago and they are still white! They are still white because I almost never wear them. And, I almost never wear them because they are so white! You see the pattern. To justify my behavior, I blame the shoes for being too white to wear or the weather outside for being too yucky to wear white shoes in. But, after Dave’s last comment on the “Excuse Giveaway” post last week, I decided to examine myself a little. I immediately found myself asking ‘Why do I buy things and then “save” them, indefinitely?’ I mean, really, why am I so afraid to use my own stuff?  I’m not a pack-rat or anything like that (in fact, I hate clutter!), but I do hold onto “special” things for way too long…gift cards (until they expire), candles (waiting for the perfect occasion to light them), nice clothes (until they don’t fit me), soap (until the scent has faded) and now white running shoes (apparently, for when dirt no longer exists!). In a sense, my “saving” is actually becoming wasteful and probably even depriving me of joy. It’s a problem, and I’m guessing that with just a little bit of therapy, I would understand why I do this. But, since I’m too cheap, I mean too chicken, I mean BOTH, to seek therapy, I’ve decided to look the problem square in the face, confess it to the entire blog-world, and try to solve it myself. My solution… Baby Steps (would calling them Baby Running Steps be too corny?).

In order to grow or better ourselves as individuals, I know it’s important to get out of our own comfort zone every now and again. Part of my comfort zone involves, keeping things for ‘just the right time,’ but never actually using them. My plans to remedy this:

Baby step #1: Wear my new running shoes, rain or shine, starting yesterday (I ran 7 miles in them…it felt good, too!).

Baby step #2: Light the lilac candle that my mother-in-law gave me for an occasion too long ago to remember, and give something I’m “just hanging onto” to someone else this week.

Baby step #3: Let my husband use the restaurant gift card he received as a gift for Christmas at his discretion (or at least show him where I hid it).

The baby steps could go on and on. They're just simple, little actions that will hopefully help make me more aware of my behavior and help me to change a little (or at least stop annoying my family so much). Are there baby steps you could be taking, or small attainable goals you could set for yourself that would instigate a change that in turn would make you a better person? It could be running/exercise related or it might be completely random (like mine!).

Saint Augustine said, “If you want to attain to what you are not yet, then you must always be displeased by what you are. For where you are pleased with yourself you have remained. Keep adding, keep walking, keep advancing.”

So, what was I thinking when I bought these shoes? I think I was thinking, “I like white.” And you know what? I was right!

Totally unrelated:  Did you notice the new “cheer” gadget on the blog?  If you’re training for anything (race, hike, walk, swim, bike, etc…), comment and let me know so I can post it and we can all cheer for you. Sorry I’m so obnoxiously encouraging!  I'm baby-stepping, I promise.